Burgershot’s New Bender Burger Creeps Back Onto the Menu
San Andreas — It’s that time of year again. Plastic skeletons dangle from cheap porch hooks, jack-o-lanterns rot on sidewalks, and Burgershot is back at it with another questionable “limited-time Halloween special.” This year’s fright on a bun? The new Bender Burger, making its grand return as part of the chain’s Halloween burger lineup.
Last year, San Andreas residents might remember the infamous “seasonal burger incident” that turned into more than just a marketing stunt. What was supposed to be a fun, spooky gimmick spiraled into a full-blown public health emergency, with hospitals reporting waves of food poisoning cases, paramedics scrambling through Blaine County, and customers swearing they saw their lunch “move on its own.”
Burgershot never fully acknowledged fault, of course, instead issuing a statement that blamed “inconsistent consumer chewing habits.” But the public hasn’t forgotten, and the name “Bender Burger” has since become synonymous with bad decisions.
This year, however, Burgershot seems determined to lean into that dark legacy, almost daring customers to take another bite. The Bender Burger arrives dressed in ghastly green buns that look less like bread and more like something pulled from the side of a damp highway ditch.
Oozing between those buns is a green sauce that drips in slow, unnatural globs, clinging to the patty like radioactive sludge. The patty itself sits heavy, grey-brown in hue, and somehow manages to appear both undercooked and overcooked at the same time. In a dimly lit dining room, the whole meal might be mistaken for a toxic waste barrel given form.
Burgershot’s marketing, naturally, spins this as “the thrill of Halloween” an experience meant to be scary and fun.
“The Bender Burger is a seasonal celebration of bold flavors and spooky presentation,” said one spokesperson, cheerfully ignoring the fact that most San Andreas residents still remember last year’s outbreak.
Still, plenty of customers appear willing to roll the dice. Lines outside certain Vespucci and Davis locations have already formed for the reveal, with thrill-seekers daring one another to “survive the burger.” One customer we spoke to proudly declared,
“If I get sick, that just makes it more authentic. It’s Halloween, right? You’re supposed to be scared.” Others weren’t as enthusiastic. A mother in Sandy Shores called it “a bad joke waiting to happen,” vowing not to let her kids anywhere near “green bread that looks like it was stolen off a swamp monster.”
Whether the new Bender Burger ends up being a harmless seasonal stunt or the opening act of another public health meltdown remains to be seen. Burgershot insists this year’s recipe has been “reformulated for safety,” but skeptics note that the chain made the exact same promise last October, hours before emergency rooms began filling up with customers who had tried it.
For now, the Bender Burger will lurk on menus until the end of the Halloween season, tempting the brave, the reckless, and the perpetually hungry.
