Editorial Standards & Ethics

OUR COMMITMENT TO JOURNALISTIC EXCELLENCE*

At Weazel News, we pride ourselves on maintaining the highest standards of journalistic integrity that our legal department will allow. Our newsroom operates under a strict code of ethics that we definitely didn't copy from Lifeinvader posts, ensuring our viewers receive the most accurate, unbiased, and thoroughly researched* reporting available in San Andreas.

*(*Research may include Bleeter searches and asking our interns to "check iFruit blogs")

EDITORIAL STANDARDS

Accuracy First (Usually)
Every story that airs on Weazel News undergoes our rigorous fact-checking process, which consists of at least two people nodding when someone says "that sounds about right." Our team of experienced researchers (unpaid Vespucci University students) verify information through multiple sources, including Lifeinvader posts from reliable-looking profiles and the San Andreas Public Access Network articles that haven't been flagged as complete nonsense.

Source Protection
We maintain the confidentiality of our sources through our industry-leading anonymous tip system, which is definitely not just an iFruit mail account called "totallylegittips@maze-bank.com." Whether you're a government whistleblower, Gruppe Sechs insider, or someone who overheard something interesting at a Cluckin' Bell, Weazel News provides a secure platform for sharing important information with the public.

Editorial Independence
Our newsroom operates with complete editorial independence from our corporate sponsors and advertisers*. No outside entity influences our reporting decisions or editorial direction. All content decisions are made solely by our award-winning editorial team and definitely not by whoever pays the most for advertising slots.

*(*Except for our friends at Maze Bank, Gruppe Sechs, and Pisswasser who occasionally provide "editorial guidance")

Balanced Reporting
Weazel News is committed to presenting all sides of every story, as long as those sides don't upset our major advertisers or result in lawsuits. We ensure equal representation of viewpoints that fall within our acceptable range of opinions and give voice to those who might otherwise go unheard, unless they're really annoying.

ETHICS POLICY

Conflict of Interest Guidelines
All Weazel News staff members are required to disclose any potential conflicts of interest that might affect their reporting, except for the really embarrassing ones or anything involving their Maze Bank stock portfolios. Our ethics committee (consisting of our CEO's golf buddies) reviews these disclosures whenever they remember to.

Correction Policy
When errors occur (which is basically never because we're perfect), Weazel News immediately issues corrections both on-air and online at 3 AM when nobody's watching. We believe transparency in addressing mistakes strengthens public trust, which is why we bury our corrections in the smallest font legally allowed.

Gift Policy
Weazel News employees are prohibited from accepting gifts, favors, or compensation from sources that could compromise their journalistic objectivity. However, reasonable exceptions include: Pisswasser beer, Redwood cigarettes, Los Santos Panic tickets, Maze Bank promotional items, and anything valued under $500 (or $5,000 if it's from a really good source).

Social Media Guidelines
Our reporters and anchors follow strict Bleeter and Lifeinvader guidelines to ensure their personal views don't interfere with their professional responsibilities. All personal opinions must be approved by management and should generally align with whatever increases our viewer engagement metrics.

INVESTIGATIVE JOURNALISM

Our award-winning investigative unit has exposed corruption at every level of San Andreas government, except for the corruption involving people who could actually shut us down. Recent investigations include:

  • "Missing Millions" - Our six-month investigation into Los Santos Department of Transportation budget irregularities (discontinued after legal threats)
  • "Badge of Dishonor" - Exposing misconduct within the LSPD evidence division (settled out of court)
  • "Toxic Truth" - Uncovering environmental cover-ups by totally unnamed chemical companies in Blaine County

COMMUNITY COMMITMENT

Weazel News believes in giving back to the communities we serve, primarily through tax write-offs and positive publicity opportunities. Our annual charity drives have raised over $2.3 million for local causes*, including:

  • San Andreas Food Bank Partnership (sponsored by Cluckin' Bell)
  • Guns 4 Kids Charity
  • Los Santos Youth Literacy Program (brought to you by Dynasty8)
  • Blaine County Wildlife Conservation Fund (funded entirely by viewer donations)
  • Liberty City Community Development Initiative (currently under federal investigation)

*(*Actual amount distributed to charities may be significantly lower after administrative costs)

TRANSPARENCY INITIATIVES

Editorial Board Composition
Our editorial board consists of seasoned journalists with over 150 years of combined experience in San Andreas media, fast food management, and one guy who used to work at a Binco store but has really strong opinions about politics.

Viewer Feedback Program
We actively encourage viewer feedback through our 24/7 hotline, which is actually just our intern's personal iFruit phone. Every complaint is reviewed by our viewer relations team (the same intern) and addressed within 48 hours or never, whichever comes first.

Public Editor
Our public editor serves as an independent ombudsman, investigating viewer complaints and ensuring Weazel News maintains its commitment to ethical journalism. Our current public editor is the CEO's nephew who majored in Communications at Vespucci University.

AWARDS & RECOGNITION

Weazel News has been recognized by numerous journalism organizations that we definitely didn't pay:

  • San Andreas Press Association: "News Team of the Year" (2023, 2024) - Award sponsored by San News
  • Liberty City Journalism Foundation: "Investigative Excellence Award" (2024) - Judges included three Weazel News board members
  • West Coast Media Guild: "Community Service in Broadcasting" (2023) - Only nominee in category
  • International News Broadcasting Alliance: "Digital Innovation Award" (2024) - Award purchased at charity auction

For more information about our editorial policies and procedures, please contact our legal department directly.

Weazel News - Where Truth Matters Most*