MAYOR OF LOS SANTOS PROMISES TO ‘CLEAN UP CRIME’ IMMEDIATELY GETS ROBBED LEAVING PRESS CONFERENCE
LOS SANTOS – It was supposed to be a bold declaration of order and accountability. Instead, it ended with the Mayor of Los Santos crawling under a podium to grab his phone and explain to his assistant why his Fleeca Bank card was just used at a 24/7 in Strawberry.
Moments after confidently vowing to “clean up crime and restore safety to our city” in front of a crowd of reporters at City Hall, Mayor Lipton, walked out to greet supporters. Before his motorcade could even start, two masked individuals on a matte-black Bati 801 approached, pulled out pistols, and demanded his briefcase, watch, and his speech notes.
The Mayor reportedly handed over his belongings without resistance, citing “a commitment to de-escalation and public safety.” His press secretary later clarified that the Mayor’s car keys, wallet, and personal firearm ironically registered to the city’s “Responsible Carry Program” were also taken during the incident. The robbery unfolded so quickly that most of the mayor’s security detail didn’t react until the suspects were halfway down the Del Perro Freeway, tossing out his signature “Keep LS Safe” lapel pin as they sped away.
Social media erupted within minutes. Bleeter hashtags like #MayorMugged, #CleanupCrimeChallenge, and #LosSantosLeadership trended citywide. One viral clip, recorded on an iFruit by a Weazel News cameraman, shows the mayor calmly saying, “We will not be intimidated” before immediately screaming, “He’s got my LTD card!” as the muggers fled.
In a late-afternoon statement, the Mayor’s office attempted to spin the disaster into a win for transparency: “The Mayor is committed to cleaning up crime even if it means personally experiencing the challenges faced by everyday citizens.”
Critics, however, are not buying it. A Councilwoman called the incident “a symbol of this administration’s incompetence” and questioned how a high-profile figure with full security could be robbed in broad daylight outside City Hall.
LSPD confirmed they are “actively investigating” the robbery. As for the Mayor? He vows to continue his crackdown on crime, just as soon as he gets a replacement debit card.
