PANIC AT UP-N-ATOM: RCSO SHERIFF’S OFFICE TURNS LUNCH BREAK INTO FULL-SCALE EMERGENCY
ROXWOOD – A routine lunch break turned into an over-the-top law enforcement spectacle yesterday when a Roxwood County Sheriff’s Office deputy accidentally triggered not one, but two panic button alerts while enjoying a meal at the Up-N-Atom diner. The resulting police response clogged traffic, rattled nerves, and raised questions about departmental procedures and maybe snack habits, too.
According to dispatch logs, the first panic button activation occurred around 12:47 p.m., immediately prompting every available unit to speed toward the fast food joint with lights, sirens, and what one motorist described as “enough cop cars to start a parade.”
When deputies entered the Up-N-Atom dining area, they didn’t find an armed robbery, hostage situation, kidnapping or raging firefight. Instead, witnesses say they encountered a uniformed officer mid-bite into a Bacon Triple Cheese Melt, one hand on a ketchup packet, the other scrolling his iFruit, seemingly oblivious to the flood of urgent radio chatter calling his name.
“He was just sitting there, sipping his Sprunk, totally chill,” said one diner patron, “Meanwhile, there’s like six RCSO cars outside . People thought a terrorist was in the bathroom.”
“I thought they were filming a commercial or something,” said another Roxwood resident Tammy, who was halfway through a Heart Stopper combo when the response team burst through the doors. “All I saw was a wall of deputies storm in, then everyone froze because the guy they came for was just sitting there eating fries like nothing happened.”
The deputy in question reportedly told colleagues and Weazel News overheard him talking that he didn’t notice the panic button activation because he “left the volume down a little” on his radio.
But while nearly the entire department was parked outside Up-N-Atom, real emergencies were apparently ignored. According to a police report filed during the same timeframe, a local resident nearby called to report their cat being stolen out of their backyard. With officers tied up, the call was pushed back to “non-urgent” status. By the time a unit arrived two hours later, the cat and the suspect were gone.
“That cat’s probably halfway to Liberty City by now,” the owner later told Weazel, holding up a missing pet flyer.
After confirming there was no emergency other than some burned onion rings, units began clearing the scene while locals had gathered outside, filming the incident on Bleeter and Lifeinvader. However the embarrassment didn’t end there. While Weazel News reporters were on-site interviewing a deputy about the incident, the panic button went off again, sending dispatch into a frenzy for the second time that day. The deputy reportedly muttered, “Oh, not again,” before fumbling with his radio.
The Sheriff’s Office says no disciplinary action has been announced yet. As Roxwood counts the cost and the missing pet case remains open, locals are asking a simple question: how many more burgers can this town afford before the next crisis?
Stay tuned for continuing coverage.
