Fort Carson, San Andreas — Just when federal agents thought they could finally close the file on the Burger Fridge Incident, the case has taken an even greasier turn. The Fort Carson Fire Department’s most infamous culinary casualty Bender is now hospitalized after reportedly consuming leftover evidence tied to the
Paleto Bay, San Andreas — What began as a tense standoff at the Blaine County Savings Bank ended in complete disaster Friday evening when all five hostages were killed during a botched response that officials are now blaming on “budgetary limitations and resource reallocation.” What followed was a six-hour standoff that
Blaine County - In what can only be described as one of the most unusual interviews in Weazel News history, our team ventured deep into the heart of Blaine County this week to sit down with the enigmatic leader of the Epsilon Program, Brother Kifflom himself. Is the Epsilon Program
San Andreas — It’s that time of year again. Plastic skeletons dangle from cheap porch hooks, jack-o-lanterns rot on sidewalks, and Burgershot is back at it with another questionable “limited-time Halloween special.” This year’s fright on a bun? The new Bender Burger, making its grand return as part of
Downtown District Left Without Power After Night of Unprecedented Lawlessness By Janet, Weasel News Correspondent LOS SANTOS - What started as an apparent social media hoax spiraled into the most chaotic night in recent Los Santos memory, as a fake Twotter post claiming all criminal activity had been temporarily legalized
By the Weazel Investigates Team Fort Carson, San Andreas – What started as a simple case of questionable fast-food budgeting has spiraled into a full-scale federal investigation requiring industrial equipment, hazmat protocols, and a massive gaping hole in the Fort Carson firehouse roof. The experts called in Jax's Recovery
Fort Carson, San Andreas – Patients and staff at the Fort Carson Medical Center had their morning turned upside down yesterday when a routine scan in the imaging ward escalated into a full-blown fire. Hospital officials say the blaze began when a patient allegedly smuggled an electronic vape pen into the
Fort Carson, San Andreas – In a town better known for tumbleweeds, dusty main roads, and that one diner with a suspiciously long “out of order” sign on its soda machine, something shiny is finally rolling in. Moseley Auto has announced the grand opening of its brand-new dealership in Fort Carson,
By the Weazel Investigates Team Fort Carson, San Andreas – Most small-town firehouse scandals involve petty squabbles over who gets the good recliner or someone forgetting to fill the coffee pot. But in Fort Carson, the drama now comes in the form of a grease-soaked paper bag. Weazel Investigates has learned
BLAINE COUNTY, SAN ANDREAS — Rangers with the San Andreas Department of Conservation and Natural Resources (DCNR) say what should have been a quiet weekend in the state forests turned into a bizarre spectacle of unlawful hunting, online deception, and a brush with a violent fugitive. The incident began late Friday
FORT CARSON, SAN ANDREAS – Last night, Fort Carson residents were treated to an all-you-can-watch buffet of chaos after the local BurgerShot went up in flames. Several customers were inside when the fire broke out. Most managed to get out on their own, though a handful lingered long enough to require
SANDY SHORES — What started as a quiet afternoon drive for a Weazel News field reporter turned into an impromptu police spectacle yesterday, after a traffic stop near Sandy Shores spiraled into a full response from SVPD and other agencies. The incident began when an officer from the Senora Valley Police